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본 연구의 목적은 정신분열증 자녀를 돌보는 어머니의 경험을 이해하고 나아가 돌봄 과정속에서 재구성되어진 어머니의 삶의 의미를 해석하는 것으로서 어머니의 삶의 의미를 그들의 역사와 문화적 전통이라는 구조 안에서 이해하기 위해 하이데거의 철학적 세계관에 기초한 해석학적 접근을 시도하였다.
어머니들은 정신질환을 ‘넋(정신)나간’ 자신들과의 거리가 먼 ‘상상밖의 질병’에서 점차 ‘더럽고 창피한’ ‘온가족이 고통받는 병’으로 간주하였다.돌봄의 과정을 보면 단순한 질병개념과 적절한 대처의 부족 등 조기발견이 지연되는 배경, 질병의 감지와 함께 ‘이것저것 다 해보는’ 과정에서 겪는 혼돈과 방황, 질병을 수용하면서 돌봄에 몰두하는 의료추구과정에서의 특징적 양상이 파악되었다. 돌봄의 경험세계를 구성하고 있는 것으로서 자녀의 퇴행적 질병행위를 대하는데 오는 기막힘과 변화된 자녀의 생활패턴을 따라가야 하는데서 오는 부담감, 재발과 악화에 대한 두려움, 창피한 병이라는 오명에 따른 두려움과 정신병자에 대한 관심의 증대, 정신질환 자녀를 죽이고 싶을 정도의 극단적 심리와 함께 관념적으로나 제도적으로 모든 짐을 짊어지는 어머니의 고통이 파악되었다. 끝으로 어머니의 돌봄경험이 그들의 삶에서 어떻게 의미화되는지는 첫째, 어머니의 이전의 삶에 대한 입장이 어떠한지, 둘째, 전능한 모성에 대한 신화로부터 어느만큼 자유로운지, 셋째, 돌봄과정에서 어머니에게 부과되는 ‘삶의 부담’을 어떻게 받아들이는지에 따라 돌봄경험이 어머니의 삶에 미치는 영향이 달라지는 것으로 해석되었다.
This study began by examining the notion of a "schizophrenogenic mother" who is belived to be the cause of a sc~ izpphrenic child. The purpose of this study was to understand the caring experiences of mothers who are taking care of a schizophrenic child, and to interpret their meanings of life reconstructed in the course of their caring experiences.
The methodology of this study follows the interpretive approach based on Heidegger´s philosophical viewpoint of the world. It enables a researcher to seek out, from the mothers´stories, their meanings of life in the structure of their personal history and cultural background. The understanding of their experiences is based on their sociocultural context, i.e., their positions in society, womanhood in Korean culture, and the mental health care delivery system.
Mothers in this study had in common the fact that they did not recognize their children´s illness until obvious symptoms had appeared. Mothers overlooked changes in their children´s behavior, or they did not take proper action for their children. The mothers suffered from spiritual chaos and tried to seek various treatments when they were fully aware of the illness.
The mothers´ experiences of caring were as follows: First, they suffered from
frustration, fear, and anxiety whenever they felt frightened at the child´s regressive, self-hurting, and insane behaviors. In the course of the caring, the mother´s everyday life pattern changed and as a result they became exhausted. Because of severe emotional agony, the mothers felt even inclined to murder their children. Second, the notion that the mothers have to take full responsibility for the whole household has been furthered by their children´s illness. They were afraid that other people would not have a good understanding of the psychosis. Furthermore, the mothers suffered from the heavy burden of having to take care of the patient without any help, which is a result of insufficiencies in the mental health care delivery system.
The mothers´ caring experiences have played an important part in their life. The meanings of their life, however, lay between the possibility of creating a new life and a life as a burden. Their caring experiences sometimes created disturbances in their own life, or gave a new perspective to life, according to the following backgrounds: how free the mothers feel from the ideology of "super mother"; how they percieved their past life before their children became ill; and whether they think of the caring as a burden or as a new challenge in their life.
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